Friday night business plans...

Friday night at Swing City, I was talking with Julia. I think I should back up for a minute, first. Thursday night I dropped by Bootleg Boogie to pick up the wireless microphone headset from sav, as I was teaching the beginner lesson on Friday. I was only planning on staying a short time; get in, get the mic, chat a little bit, and go. As Holly and I walked up the stairs, the first thing that struck us was the glowing Tina. She was wearing all white. Combine that with a blacklight and she glowed. The second thing that struck us was the lack of people. Odd. Lack of leads, in particular. I was lead #3 (with sav not counting since he was DJ). When I was trying to say my goodbyes, Sara stopped me, stripped me, and pulled me to the dancefloor. Attempted exit number two was just as successful. This time, Tina, Christabel, and Julia all teamed up to strip me. All this time, Holly was watching, amused. I danced with each of them in turn. Exit attempt number three was actually successful. Stripped by four girls while my girlfriend watched. How's THAT for an enticement to go dancing?

But apparently that wasn't the only interesting thing that happened that night. Now back to Friday. I was talking with Julia, and she was telling me about one drunk guy that was at Bootleg Boogie at various points through the night. He was probably reaching for his twenties, but looked about a decade shy. Drunk plus dancing equals amusing situations. Anyway, his friends came by to collect him. Later, they came by to collect him again, as he had escaped their 'watchful eyes'. That led me to seize on a new business idea and a range of products.

Imagine the scenario: You're out for a night of partying, dancing, what have you, with your friends and with that comes the drinking. Some of your friends partake a little too much and are soon imbibed with the spirits of drink. Over-imbibed, actually. It's always a chore keeping track of your drunken comrades, as they tend to wander from you if you let them out of your sight for even a second. They're like untrained children or pets, only worse. Baby-proofing, pet-proofing, and drunk-proofing require the same techniques; as they all spit up, urinate, and play with and eat everything when you least expect it. There must be an easier way to keep track of your drunken friends. There are numerous products for pets and babies/toddlers, such as leashes (both pet and toddler), electric/invisible fences, and proximity alarms. It's time to adapt and market these for the drunk demographic!

Drunk leashes to keep your drunks close. Imagine attaching one of those retractable leashes to your drunken friend. If he gets a little too far, just reel him in! The electric/invisible fences and proximity alarms could be used in several ways. You can setup a perimeter around your table to administer a mild shock if your drunk attempts to leave his area. Proximity alarms could be used in a similar way, but with a roaming area. They could also be used to keep them from pestering innocent women, a la restraining orders.

On the business side of things, drunk-tending services can be made available. Don't want to deal with your drunks, instead of having fun yourself? Hire a Drunk Walker. It's like hiring a Dog Walker, but for your drunks. Imagine seeing somebody in a club, holding onto ten leashes, all connected to drunken clubbers, none of them creeping out/bothering/pestering others! How much would you pay for that service? $75/hour? $100/hour? $250/hour? No, for a limited time only, you pay only five easy installments of $24.99 each*! But wait, there's more! If you order now, you get a free Drunkie Bag! And if you call in the next 15 minutes, we'll even make your last payment for you! That's right, instead of paying five easy installments of $24.99, you only pay four easy installments of $24.99, INTEREST FREE**! What a deal! Call now! Operators are standing by.

* Applicable taxes and $19.99 shipping and handling charges extra.
** O.A.C. only.
*** No C.O.D.s accepted.

That is all.