When Idiots Attack...

... Our Sense of Style


It hurts just thinking about this one... It's hard to tell, but this used to be a Dodge Neon at some point. And by the blue permit hanging from the mirror, it looks like this genious used to go to UVic. Used to, since those permits are no longer in use. They switched to the window decals a couple years ago, though I much preferred the card as above.

Before I do a walk-around, I'd like to point out a couple things. First, the blue with white stripes paint job. I won't say much about that, because it looks decent. This is actually the right type (i.e., domestic) of car that can pull that off. I've seen imports try to use the stripes, and it just doesn't work. In fact, it looks hideous. Second, the blue tape plastered everywhere!! It looks like the blue tape is used as structural reinforcement. Look closely at the bumpers (front and rear), the quarter panels, the front air dams, the rally lights... Are those lights being held on by the tape?!

Oi. Anyway, onto the walk-around:

The front. First, we have the offset hood scoop with mesh grill. I'm willing to bet that's a non-functional hood scoop. Why? Well, first inclination would be all the other non-functional components. Second, we have the mesh grill replacing the original grill, and the mesh grill covering the front air dams. As you can see, the mesh grill quickly becomes a theme. Now, the mesh grill is fine; I've seen some really nice applications of it. But this is just plain overkill. Third, we have the three off-road rally lights. No comment. Fourth, we have the cleared out side markers. This one's a little more subtle and it actually looks nice. Fifth, we have the relocated license plate. It might look ok *IF* he had put it on straight. Oh well.

The interior. I didn't actually look closely at the interior, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. From the pictures, you can see a gauge pod and fire extinguisher on the A-pillars. Unless he's racing this thing, the fire extinguisher is purely for show... well, maybe not. That car is F*CKIN' HOT!

The rear. I'm sorry, wtf? Seriously, wtf is up with the wing? Last I checked, Neons were front wheel drive, which makes that ginormous wing completely non-functional (well, duh) except at speeds far exceeding legal limits... city and highway. In fact, with the size of that thing, it probably makes traction WORSE by squatting the rear-end and lifting the front wheels!
Now, the altezza lights. Altezzas have been done to death. They also rarely look great. This isn't one of those rare situations.
Oh, the mesh again...
One more huge wtf... QUAD EXHAUST?!? This is a 4-BANGER!

My brain hurts...

That is all.

I'm going around in circles!

This entry is once again brought to you by Riders Paradise, source for all your Eriky goodness.

Anyway, he posted a link to a game called Orbit. The playing field is a randomly generated 2D spacescape (level N has N planets). You use your mouse to set a small comet loose and hope it stays alive (free from planetary collisions) until the timer runs out. Its simple mechanics and interface and challenging gameplay make it very addictive. I've made it to level 13 so far. Levels 11 and 12 were pretty tough, as the spacescape starts to get pretty crowded.


On a completely different note: I've recently acquired some new readers and I welcome you. I mentioned this in person to one, but I wanted to reiterate it here for everyone. I accept guest entries. If anybody has an inkling to write something, shoot me a message on MSN Messenger for more details. You can find my MSN contact in my profile.

That is all.

"What thine f*ck?"

Ok, I'm on an entry-whoring binge at the moment, it seems...

Anyway, a few entries ago I mentioned a webcomic called Life in Plastic Pants. I haven't been reading it long, but there are some comedic gems, such as this one that inspired this entry's title. What thine f*ck indeed!

That is all.

Pray for swift death should you cross a praying mantis!

Holy crap! I didn't know they did that! On Bird Watcher's Digest, there's an item showing pictures of a praying mantis killing and eating a hummingbird. It only has a few pictures, but it's pretty damn interesting.

That is all.

Jesus H. Christ, look with your EYES, not your stroller!

On my way home, I was about 5 seconds from pulling into my driveway when I encountered another shining example of Stupidity (yes, capital 'S'). The sidewalk next door to my place is closed because of some construction work, so you get all sorts of people walking into the road like idiots. Now, this road is a fairly busy one, so you have cars going past a lot of the time. This dumbass woman was pushing her toddler in a stroller when she came upon the closed sidewalk. What does she do? WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING, she turns and heads onto the road... STROLLER FIRST. This wouldn't be so bad (wait, yes it would), but this was 5 @$#&ING FEET in front of my car! I hit the brakes and swerved over a little. Luckily she stopped, too, with only the front wheel hanging over the curb. Goddamn idiots.

That is all.

Why, oh, why? *shakes head*

Sometimes I just can't understand the sheer assholery (or obliviousness) of some people. Outside my work, there's a small road leading from one small parking lot past the main entrance to a larger parking lot. This road is just big enough for two cars. There's a path to the main entrance that's big enough for a car to park in; there are people parked there for deliveries/picking-up/dropping-off regularly. This morning, I was walking to the entrance and this dumbass woman had parked her van IN THE MIDDLE OF THE @$#&ING ROAD, IN FRONT OF THE ENTRANCE!! Literally in the MIDDLE. She was blocking both the road and the path to the entrance. As I was walking, another woman drove up and had to drive on the grass to get around the idiot van. The dumbass didn't even TRY to park in the entrance path, or even park SLIGHTLY over to one side... *sigh*


That is all.

Scrubs addiction; it's a hilarious affliction

This past weekend, I was up-island with Holly at her parents' place. The drive up Friday night was relatively uneventful, despite the driving rain and wind earlier in the day. One interesting phenomenon while driving up was the rain hitting the windshield. Stoner's Invisible Glass must be pretty good. I've been using it since the summer and rain beads up on the windshield fairly well. Driving over the Malahat, the rain was pretty hard in some spots... well, hard when driving at highway speeds. If it weren't for the glare from lights, I could have gotten away with not using my wipers. The rain would bead up on the windshield and just roll off from the air resistance. When no lights were shining at me, I could see perfectly well. It was a neat effect to see. Holly tried to capture it on camera, but it just didn't come out well enough.

Saturday night, we stayed inside and watched some Scrubs. I introduced Holly to it awhile ago and she's been addicted since. I brought my season one and two DVD box sets so we could finish off season one and start season two. Holly's parents joined us and it became a marathon as I've created two new addicts. We ended up watching ten episodes in total, with a break for dinner after three. That's a little over four hours of a show which they had never even heard of before. It's that good. I left season 1 with Holly's parents so they could finish watching it.

Sunday morning was the photo shoot. A family friend, a photographer, was creating a newspaper advert and needed a family to model for it. The advert was for the upcoming Holiday Season, with the theme of "kids home for the holidays is a perfect time to get family portraits". After the family stuff was done (through which, I tried to get some more sleep; as I had a three hour drive, teaching, and a class ahead of me with very little time between all that), Holly and I had a mini-shoot. We were standing there, hugging, waiting for him to get things set up, and he told us to "keep that mood" for the pictures. Ok, no problem. A bunch of shots and some light adjustments later, and we were done. I wonder how the pictures turned out...

That is all.

Preying on Alien Half Life in Concerned Plastic Pants

Life in Plastic Pants. Lego. What more can I say? It's a webcomic made with Lego. It combines stupid humour, ye olde English, and Lego. This one is a great example, with its oh-so-bad pun in the last panel. Check it out!

Another great webcomic is Alien Loves Predator. It's about an Alien and a Predator rooming together in New York. And it's made with Alien and Predator action figures!

And finally, we have Concerned. Sadly, this webcomic about Gordon Frohman (the antithesis of Gordon Freeman, the antagonist in the Half Life games) has completed, but there are still 204 comics of Concerned goodness!

That is all.

I'm an idiot driver, please shoot me!

Number two in our series of Stupid Vehicles is this gem of a poser^†. This is not the most egregious example I've seen, but it is representative of the kind of ugliness. Again, it's hard to see in the picture, but those dark spots are those dumbass, fake bullet hole stickers. If you want your car to look like it's shot up, give me a gun and I'll make it authentic for you. The worst I've seen are the soccer mom vans. It's bad if the actual soccer mom put them on; it's just as bad if the teenage son/daughter/dumbass put them on thinking "I'm cooool". You just look ridiculous!


^†License plate obscured to protect the stupid.

That is all. Oh god, I wish it were!

Mysterious Murder on the Pineapple Express

Saturday night was the Murder Mystery party, where David (not in attendance), aka Tom Speed, was mysteriously murdered. Whodunnit? Well, nobody really cared that much, as we were all too wrapped up in our own personal agendas. I tried to keep the status quo with my marriage of convenience (money) to my wife Anna (Holly), while maintaining my love affair with Sandra (Christabel). Playing that affair was fun, pretending to sneak off over-the-top loving embraces in the shadows and behind peoples' backs. "Oh Sandra, I've missed you!"

David called me Sunday morning because Tina wasn't feeling well and wasn't going to be teaching with me that night. Only after I hung up did I think to say "Tom Speed, you're alive!!" Oh well, next time. Christabel filled in for Tina and when I got to class, I told Christabel "Oh Sandra, I put a little poison in Zara's (Tina) food last night so that we could be together again!" Yep, too much fun. (Hope you're feeling better, Tina!)


If you recall my last entry (how could you not? it's below this one!), I ranted about the stupidity of drivers not turning on their lights. Today was no different, though there were less idiots. Despite the heavy rain brought by the Pineapple Express and the dark sky, there were still unlit vehicles making menaces of themselves.

Pineapple Express... another thing associated with Hawaii is Macadamia nuts. It's funny that Hawaii is the largest commercial producer of Macadamia nuts, is instantly thought of when Macadamia nuts are mentioned; and yet, the nut originally came from Eastern Australia and Indonesia.

Speaking of Hawaii and the Pineapple Express, I should trace that back to its source someday... MmmMmmmm, pineapple... MmmMmMmmm, Macadamia nuts...

That is all.

RANT: Driving skills (or lack thereof) of the population at large

This is a common topic for me to rant about, since I hate stupid drivers. Unfortunately, I drive one of the worst commutes in Victoria: the Mackenzie corridor to UVic. As a result, I see more than my share of stupid drivers. There are the standard, annoying piss-offs that drive 40km/h IN THE LEFT LANE, with NO intentions of turning left (except maybe at an intersection 5km away!). There are also the other annoying piss-offs that literally (no exaggerating, sadly) take 1.5 blocks to hit 40km/h... and never actually hit 50km/h.

Today, I saw too many of the "either I'm oblivious or just stupid" drivers. It's raining today. It's raining hard enough that having the windshield wipers on intermittent doesn't quite cut it; you need fast intermittent or slow constant setting. As usual with rain like this, the sky was dark and grey. Dark sky = low visibility. Rain = low visibility. Road spray behind a car = low visibility. It doesn't matter what colour your car is, road spray will hide your car. TURN ON YOUR LIGHTS PEOPLE!! Lights are the only thing that will make you visible to OTHER drivers. I saw maybe 10% of cars with their lights on. All cars made after January 1, 1990, were required to have Daytime Running Lights (DRLs) in Canada. This helps with your visibility with people in front of you, but it doesn't do any good with people BEHIND, where all the road spray masks your car. Everybody needs to turn on their lights, because at even a medium distance, your car becomes mostly hidden thanks to the grey spray on grey background. Total dumbassery.

North America seriously needs better driver training. I would like to see advanced driver training courses become MANDATORY. The stricter graduated licensing is better than the old system (minimum 30 hours driving experience to get full license), but it still doesn't have any requirements for advanced skills. It just requires more time behind the wheel before you get fully licensed. One of the main causes of accidents and deaths in new drivers (young or old) is the lack of experience and skill. Lack of experience can't be avoided, but lack of skill can be.

I've never had the chance to take an advanced driving course, but I would love to. One day, I want to take either an advanced course, a racing course, or a stunt driving course... or all three. Not only would it be educational (and possibly save my life one day), it'd be FUN! It's never a bad thing knowing how to control a car properly and safely in emergency situations (which can put your car to, and past, its limits). Sadly, far too many people lack that knowledge. Truth be told, I'm one of them for most situations. The difference? I want to do something about it.

That is all.