When Idiots Attack...

... Our Sense of Style


It hurts just thinking about this one... It's hard to tell, but this used to be a Dodge Neon at some point. And by the blue permit hanging from the mirror, it looks like this genious used to go to UVic. Used to, since those permits are no longer in use. They switched to the window decals a couple years ago, though I much preferred the card as above.

Before I do a walk-around, I'd like to point out a couple things. First, the blue with white stripes paint job. I won't say much about that, because it looks decent. This is actually the right type (i.e., domestic) of car that can pull that off. I've seen imports try to use the stripes, and it just doesn't work. In fact, it looks hideous. Second, the blue tape plastered everywhere!! It looks like the blue tape is used as structural reinforcement. Look closely at the bumpers (front and rear), the quarter panels, the front air dams, the rally lights... Are those lights being held on by the tape?!

Oi. Anyway, onto the walk-around:

The front. First, we have the offset hood scoop with mesh grill. I'm willing to bet that's a non-functional hood scoop. Why? Well, first inclination would be all the other non-functional components. Second, we have the mesh grill replacing the original grill, and the mesh grill covering the front air dams. As you can see, the mesh grill quickly becomes a theme. Now, the mesh grill is fine; I've seen some really nice applications of it. But this is just plain overkill. Third, we have the three off-road rally lights. No comment. Fourth, we have the cleared out side markers. This one's a little more subtle and it actually looks nice. Fifth, we have the relocated license plate. It might look ok *IF* he had put it on straight. Oh well.

The interior. I didn't actually look closely at the interior, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. From the pictures, you can see a gauge pod and fire extinguisher on the A-pillars. Unless he's racing this thing, the fire extinguisher is purely for show... well, maybe not. That car is F*CKIN' HOT!

The rear. I'm sorry, wtf? Seriously, wtf is up with the wing? Last I checked, Neons were front wheel drive, which makes that ginormous wing completely non-functional (well, duh) except at speeds far exceeding legal limits... city and highway. In fact, with the size of that thing, it probably makes traction WORSE by squatting the rear-end and lifting the front wheels!
Now, the altezza lights. Altezzas have been done to death. They also rarely look great. This isn't one of those rare situations.
Oh, the mesh again...
One more huge wtf... QUAD EXHAUST?!? This is a 4-BANGER!

My brain hurts...

That is all.