Choose Your Own Adventure installment #3

You retrieve your pants and pull out a pack of cigarettes.. of the Popeye Candy Stick variety. You pop one into your mouth. You accidentally inhale one as the door bursts open. Lightning flashes and illuminates the intruder.

"Get off my wife!"

You shrink back. Fumbling beside you, your hand grabs your flashlight. You train it on the advancing figure. *gasp* You drop the flashlight. It couldn't be! You pick up the flashlight again and shine the light on its face, only inches away. An ape?! A talking ape?!?

The ape's lethal jaws (and breath, whew!) are dangerously close to your face. It bares its fangs and lunges. You scream! ...and suddenly realize you were asleep.

"DAMNIT! It was just getting good!" you cry out. Heidi's face hovers over you. You have a sudden feeling of deja vu.

"What was just getting good?" she inquires.

You realize she's at least real. "Woohoo!" you think to yourself. "I dreamt I had se..uhh, I mean, I won the Stanley Cup" you reply.

She eyes you suspiciously for a few seconds, but drops it. "Hi!" she says.

"Hi, Heidi" you say as you get up.

"How'd you know my name was Heidi" she asks.

"Umm, I saw it in a dream" you say and immediately feel silly. "I'm Hugo. Weren't there dead bodies around here?" you ask.

"What? No!" she replies, shocked. "Hmm, you could have sworn she was one of those 'dead' bodies" you think to yourself. "There's a mystery I'm solving here. Do you want to join me?" you ask, hoping.

"Sounds neat!" she answers.

You lead Heidi out of the room and enter a pitch black room. The door shuts behind and you fumble for your flashlight. Before you find it, Heidi finds a light switch and the two of you are bathed in a grimy light.

"It appears as if this is a closet" you proclaim with as much suaveness as you can..after leading her directly into a closet. And not even a walk-in. Sheesh. "There's a secret passage in here" you announce as you run your hand over the wall. Suddenly, a portion recedes and the wall slides away. You stare dumbfounded at the opening. Heidi pulls you along as she runs through the doorway and up the stairs within. At the top, you encounter a closed door. You quietly open the door and see a lab. A mad scientist's lab. Just like the great B movies of the past.

Hesitating, you wonder what to do. You decide to take a look. You take a deep breath, in preparation.

"Are you coming?" Heidi calls as she skips past you.

---

That is all.

Is that a .44 in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

I noticed an amusing coincidence this morning; Holly has a purse that has a tag on it, reading "Frankie and Johnnie". Frankie and Johnnie by Sam Cooke is one of my favourites (as well as Carolyn's). She got the purse long before she had heard the song, so getting that particular purse wasn't intentional (unless it was precognition...).

I just hope she doesn't have a long .44 in there!

That is all.

Damn it, Michelle!

So last night, Holly and I went out for dinner at Blue Peter's Marine Pub and Restaurant in Sidney. Choice of restaurant was determined by the Entertainment Book I had just bought. Overall, the experience was satisfactory, if a little irritating, but the range of that experience was a bit excessive.

Service to begin with was good. We were seated quickly and our orders were taken promptly. That's when things changed. Over thirty minutes went by (30 minutes!) before our food came out. There were two other tables occupied... To be fair, there was the pub on the other side that was busier. When the food did arrive, though, it was pretty good.

As we were finishing, a couple entered the restaurant. They were probably in their late 20s or early 30s. The guy looked like he came straight out of Langford (complete with long, unwashed hair) and the girl was no different (though, with shorter hair). This guy was loud, but amusing in a sad sort of way. The girl was the giggly type, most likely drunk and/or favouring an IQ of stupid. Stereotypical blonde without the blonde. After putting in their orders (which people outside probably could hear), they moved to the patio (thank god).

While all of this was going on, we were trying to get the bill so we could pay and leave. Our waitress cleared our plates and asked if we wanted anything else. "No. Thanks." Now, most wait staff would automatically bring you the bill at this point. But no, it took another five minutes or so before she reappeared and we could ask for the bill. When she did bring our bill, I immediately handed her my Visa, which she took. She got to her computer and, instead of ringing through the transaction, she went to 'help' (mostly by standing there and watching) the trailer-trash/ditz couple who were in the process of moving to the patio, our bill and my Visa in hand. Not the first time that she paid more attention to the guy than us. Maybe I should also mention that our waitress was apparently new, as she was still getting information on benefits and how things worked. Another few minutes and I finally got my card back.

The last part of the experience, so far, had been rather interesting... but it got better. Errr, better? Not only did we get dinner, but we also got a show... ignoring the show we'd already been getting with the other couple. The area between the pub and restaurant sides is an employee area, with the registers and other stuff. This area is marked off with half-height walls and openings. From this area, we started hearing some arguing and raised voices. It quickly became apparent that the manager (I assume) should "call Michelle. Talk to Michelle. Michelle did this. I wasn't supposed to be here tonight. I never agreed to work tonight, it was Michelle's fault. Michelle never cleared this with me. Michelle just said that I would come in. Talk to Michelle. You need to talk to Michelle." Ad nauseum. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that this waitress (not our's) was not supposed to be working, didn't want to be working, and that whatever had happened was all because of Michelle. Did I mention that it was Michelle's fault? I swear, we heard 'Michelle' at least 200 times in 5 minutes. Every third word from this woman's mouth was "Michelle". I think Blue Peter's may have one or two less wait staff soon. I'm curious to know who this Michelle is. Holly was suggesting we should go back and ask for Michelle, or call ahead and ask.

Interesting night. At least the food was good.


On a completely different note, I can't believe I missed International Talk Like a Pirate Day on Tuesday! Damn it, Sara, why didn't you remind me?!?

That is all, Michelle.

^(3,6,12)+ months$

For the non-speakers of regex parlance, this roughly means "3, 6, and 12 months". That's far from rigorous, though. When I say "roughly", I really mean it.
Anyway, this post will be broken down to their respective 3, 6, and 12 month relevances.

3 months
Three, maybe four, months already. It doesn't sound like long, but it sure felt like a long time. That's how long it's been since I last taught a swing class... until Sunday. The latest session of classes started up then and I'm teaching again. I missed the last session because I was in Europe, and summer was free of classes altogether.

This session I'm teaching Balboa 1, meaning it will be an interesting six weeks of classes. Interesting because I'm a little rusty in my teaching. Interesting because I haven't taught balboa before. Interesting because I've only danced balboa for a relatively short time. Just don't tell my students that! (Well, I've danced everything for only a relatively short time, but that's beside the point.) Oh well, the first class seemed to go well. People were getting it surprisingly well, which is always great to see.

6 months
If you haven't been to the Red Hot Swing website, there's a forum hosted on it for us to do the usual forum-like stuff. One recent thread, started by Chris, is the "Happy Dances" where you get to post why you are doing your own personal happy dance. One item for me that requires a happy dance is this section, the six months. As of yesterday, September 18, Holly and I reached the six month mark. We marked the occasion by spending what time we could together, as we have for the six months prior. It's a nice way to celebrate.

12 months
Twelve months ago, I was in Vancouver for a workshop weekend with Steven and Virginie. This past weekend, I was at it again. I'll probably be there again next year. Steven and Virginie are amazing dancers and incredibly fun teachers! It's impossible not to have fun with them.

---

So, ^(3,6,12)+ months$. All of those deserve a happy dance.

That is all.

It begins anew!

If you recall my previous entry, Spectacular electronic death, you'll remember my history of, well, spectacular electronic death. You'll also remember the ominous incidents that started occuring with my LCD monitor at work. Today, it begins anew. It's gotten to that time of year where it's cold in the morning, but still hot in the afternoon, so I wear my shorts and keep warm with a fleece jacket.

Now, fleece is notorious for generating static electricity. So am I. The two together is just dangerous... but fleece is sooo soft! Anyway, today I took my jacket off and reached for my monitor's power button. It's good I was watching or I would have missed it. As I neared the button, a white-blue arc of electricity bridged the gap between my thumb and the button! That's never something you want to see with electronics. So far so good, though. No ill effects that I can see.

So now I have to remember again to touch other metal first... weee.

That is all.

Stereogrammy goodness!

Oh my crap! I came across a link to THE COOLEST STEREOGRAM *EVER* on one of the forums I frequent. Not only is it 3D, but it's ANIMATED 3D! Make sure you wait for the image to fully load. Once it's finished, it scrolls from left to right quickly. For those that know anything about stereograms, the starting focal distance for me (and my monitor size/resolution) is about one arm length. Once locked in, though, there's a pretty wide range you can move.

If you're one of those people that can't see images in stereograms, I feel for you, because it is such a cool effect. I urge you to try it anyway.

That is all.

It's a mirror!

So after a lot of thought and plans to do it, I've finally done it. I washed, claybarred, and waxed my car. First time I've claybarred and waxed any car. For the uninitiated, claybarring involves working a bar of this special type of clay over the surface of the car to remove old wax and any contaminants embedded in the paint/clearcoat surface. This makes for an amazingly smoooooooth surface like you wouldn't believe; much smoother even than when fresh off the car lot. In total working time spent, I put in about six hours this weekend. That includes washing, drying, claying, waxing, and buffing the exterior, as well as cleaning the windows, tires, and interior a little. I even wiped down parts of the engine bay and the exhaust tips. If I had more time, I would have put on a couple more coats of wax...

I'll say this: Meguiar's NXT Tech Wax is really easy to use, even by hand, and gives great results!

I'll update this post later with pictures demonstrating the mirror-like qualities of my car.

*** UPDATE ***

*** END UPDATE ***

On another subject, my computer is back up and running. I have most of my files restored from my backups and I have the most important programs installed and ready to go. Everything else will come along slowly, but now I can post the rest of the Choose Your Own Adventure story and start writing again... assuming I can find time.

That is all.