Convocation Carnival

A couple weeks ago was Holly's Convocation. After toiling away at studies for years, and paying thousands and thousands of dollars for that privilege, she got the pleasure of experiencing the hallowed traditions that are Convocation. Let me describe Convocation to you:


The experience of friends and family
You pile into the University Centre Auditorium with all the other friends and families, at which point you wait... and wait. When the ceremonies begin, you stand while all the unprocessed graduates form a Procession that file into the seats around the stage. Then people talk. And more people talk. And more people talk. When all the talking is done, the unprocessed graduates go through the age-old traditions until all have passed into the World of Academia. After this, there's yet more talking. At the end, the newly anointed graduates file out as you once again stand.


The experience of the vict... Convocatee
You arrive at the University long before your family to pick up your silly looking regalia that's steeped in time-honoured tradition. After getting the regalia, you proceed to find your staging room where you are helped into said regalia. Time to wait. And wait. And wait. Once you're tired of waiting, you're then directed into lines and given orders of either "you go when I tell you to go" or "follow that guy" or "follow the person in front of you". Now that you're in your lines, you then wait (and wait and wait and wait) for your cue (queue? ). Once you've gotten your cue, you make your way into the auditorium and to your seat, where everybody can see your every movement. And now the speeches. Traditions always call for lots of talking and Academia has some of the oldest traditions, so there's always lots of talking.

After all the talking, you're filed onto the stage one-by-one to have your name called out to the masses (the audience) and what program/degree got you to this point. When your name is called, you first pose for pictures, then walk across the stage to where the Chancellor is sitting, who bonks you upside the head with a funny looking hat to welcome you to Academia. You then walk off the stage where you collect your multi-thousand dollar piece of dogwood (degree) and the alumni people give you a pin and other stuff. By taking the pin and other stuff from the alumni people, they implicitly take permission to ask you for money for the rest of your life.

Once all the unprocessed graduates have been processed, you then sit through more talking before filing out to a standing audience. Now it's time to find your friends and family in the sea of hundreds of other friends and family. After collecting your people, you then proceed to the free food and then pose for hundreds and hundreds of pictures, so you can forever be captured in your silly looking regalia... which you have to return before X time or you'll pay late fees. And it better be clean or you'll be paying cleaning fees.


A note about the silly looking regalia. Everybody in Academia wears silly looking regalia for these types of things. The higher (or deeper, depending on how you look at it) you go, the sillier it looks.

That is all.