Are you STILL talking?!?

I swear, some people should not be allowed to leave phone messages... or should be required to take Remedial Phone Message Etiquette. Phone messages should be short, sweet, and to the point. Anything over thirty seconds, in most cases, is far too long. Really, fifteen seconds should be enough.

"Hi [target name], this is [source name]. I'm calling [to|for|regarding|etc.] [purpose]. You can reach me at *slow down* [phone number]. That's [phone number]. Thanks. Bye."

That's generally about how my messages go. I might add an email or some other form of communication, but that's about it. (Speeding up when saying phone numbers is a whole other rant...)

The other night, I got home and there were two messages on my answering machine. (Yes, answering machine, not voicemail. One of the ancient, tape based ones!) It's a bad sign when it takes a relatively long time to rewind the tape for only two messages... The first message plays and this woman starts talking... and talking. And talking. And talking. And talking. And rambling. And rambling. And RAMBLING! My God woman, are you STILL TALKING?!?! And after literally a minute of talking, she STILL hasn't even come close to saying her purpose for calling. No, this is back-story that doesn't matter. Back-story that she basically repeated several times already. A few minutes later, the message FINALLY ends.

Next message. OMFG! She called AGAIN! Immediately afterward to "make sure she said what she wanted to say more clearly"! If you haven't guessed already, this message was JUST AS RAMBLING! Sure, it was only about half as long, but it was still a couple minutes. She went over the back-story AGAIN, while repeatedly talking about making it more clear. *bangs head on wall*

Wow. Holly listened to all of it with an incredulous look on her face. I couldn't actually stand it and walked away a few times... only to come back with the woman still talking.

Yes, some people should not be allowed to leave phone messages.

That is all.